Suzanne she goes down
Once more to Ealing cop shop
She makes an umpteenth statement
Falsely claiming she’s a victim
And we know that she’s half crazy
That her strings are pulled in Barnet
And the lies are fed from Finchley
Oh but she’s too blind to see it
Yet Suzanne does her duty
Carries out her orders
Just keeps on spreading nonsense
In the hope somebody answers
With angry words and menace
And again she runs for cover
Begging Mr Plod to nick me
But he only shakes his helmet
As she stands there
Playing victim with her lies…
(Sincere apologies to fans of Leonard Cohen – RIP).