My humble apologies for not being Jimmy Carr

I humbly apologise to everyone for being me.

Perhaps, if I had told a joke about the Roma Holocaust — or sanctioned a millennia-old goblin-banker stereotype for Hollywood movies based on a children’s book series — things might be different: I would not again be facing jail time for causing ‘gross offence’ with another parody song.

I therefore apologise for not being Jimmy Carr, or JK Rowling. (After checking, it seems that Count Dankula is fast approaching a quarter of a million followers on Twitter, so I suppose I must apologise for not being him either.)

I am also deeply sorry that, by using the Internet, victims were presented with the choice to click play, allowing them to watch and share my videos. The deadly virus of comedy songs was thus allowed to mutate more rapidly, spreading to other online platforms faster than you can say “the Ricky Gervais variant”.

Apologies, too, that my case shone a light on the fact that protection from prosecution for speech crime, in particular under bad law Section 127 of the Communications Act 2003, hangs partly on who you are and partly on what you say you believe, publicly. Or rather on what you say you don’t believe.

If, like many in academia, government and media, keeping your job means turning a blind eye to the crimes of the Israeli state, both at home and in the diaspora, then that would be your own moral choice. The same applies when paying lip-service to inaccurate accounts of what happened in the past.

I apologise for not falling into the above categories; also, for helping to enshrine within the annals of legal history the spectacle of men in horsehair wigs declaring satirical songs to be grossly offensive. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that satire is meant to be offensive, when will other humourless drones that now populate this island decide that they, too, need governement protection from ridicule and scorn?

It goes almost without saying that my songs satirising ‘Nazis’ (for want of a better word) will never be acknowledged as forming part and parcel of my repertoire, nor indeed even criticised by those usually so quick to condemn and snarl. But they only complain when it suits them.

To add to the confusion, whilst some of my detractors scream ‘neo-Nazi’, controlled opposition goons prefer to paint me as ‘a left-wing spy’ who ‘blames white child victims of Muslim grooming gangs.’ I apologise to all good-hearted patriots who, rather than see their donations put to good use, have in actual fact been conned into funding facelifts and foreign travel instead.

What differentiates normal offensiveness from something that is grossly offensive? How is Carr’s joke any less grossly offensive than my songs?

Above: If Jimmy Carr is free to tour and do gigs, then shouldn’t Alison Chabloz also be free to do the same?

When it comes to satire and comedy today, in stark contrast to the once world-renowned British appetite for merciless lampooning of the rich and famous, UK courts have shown where the line is drawn. But only where some people are concerned. For others with far greater media influence and wealth, (indeed, also for some whose notoriety dates back far longer than most of those jailed for wrongthink), there appears to be no line at all.

With over 10,000 prosecutions for thought crime offences in the UK (mostly mean, inappropriate posts on social media, some dating back several years); with a backlog of 300,000 cases still waiting to go to trial in the wake of the plandemic, and with another 20,000 profit-making prison spaces available within the next few years, unless something is done to reverse the trend currently being implemented by this government, down in a sorry heap at the bottom of the slippery slope will be our final destination.

Last but not least, I apologise to all the tax-payers who fund prosecutions that, in the end, are intended to make them, their kids, and their grankids, all shut the f*ck up too. Hopefully, they’ll still have enough left at the end of the month and enough of a sense of humour to enjoy a Jimmy Carr gig if he’s in the area.

12 thoughts on “My humble apologies for not being Jimmy Carr

  1. Sophie Johnson February 13, 2022 / 2:48 pm

    Alison dear, I fear that you are grossly offensive to ‘them’ because your songs, and your person and performance, have far greater aesthetic value, and hence much greater respectable-audience appeal, than anything Jimmy Carr can put out.

  2. Ciaran Goggins February 13, 2022 / 7:55 pm

    It is porraimos for the Roma (though usually they opt for “olocausto”). I have nothing against Israel or Jews, however free speech extends to everyone. Carr has the right to his comedy, I have the right to hurl four letter words at him.

      • Mike Orr March 19, 2022 / 8:38 am

        Your case is similar to the “Naked rambler” who spent around a decade in prison for not committing a crime. He walked, stark bollock naked, apart from boots and rucksack, from lands end to John O’Groats. And back. Twice.
        Although public nudity is not illegal here in the UK, nor is it in most countries, the police/authorities have the fall back charge of ” causing offence likely to lead to beach if peace” and or similar. He never backed down. He never dressed, no in prison ( solitary obviously🙄) nor in court. I’m sad that he “waisted” do much of his life in prison.
        I’m sad that you’re facing similar abuse of the law and prison time.

        I’m here because some wag on FB, during discussion on sexism 🤷, after trawling my profile? Asked ” do I believe in the Holocaust”?
        I replied, what does it matter?
        He replied, because it’s a crime.
        I found you..
        Do I want to risk going too prison?
        Do I accept certain topics/freedoms of expression are exceptionally verboten? Fuck no.

        I’ve no intention of poking this vipers nest (anymore than I am doing..)
        It sickened me to witness the smear campaign, largely orchestrated by the Israeli state, against JC. They , the Israeli state, interfered in our countries general election. Blatant. Fact. Evidence to convict.
        However they are above criticism courts and the whole thing stinks.

        Just to say.
        Shame on Israel
        Shame on HMC
        Shame on judges

        Etc etc

        Shame on anyone who tries to limit freedom of expression just because it might cause offence. That I find fucking offensive.

        • Ciaran Goggins April 7, 2022 / 8:47 am

          He refused to divert 100 yds past a school so that was one arrest. Thing is, criminalize denying the Shoah and a plethora follows, Armenia, Irish famine, denying much else besides.

          • Mike Orr April 8, 2022 / 11:13 pm

            My thumb hovered over the ” bin” button, but I’ll let it slide and allow you to explain yourself.

          • Mike Orr April 8, 2022 / 11:21 pm

            Why should he divert around a school??

            • Alison Chabloz April 9, 2022 / 1:28 am

              What kind of parents would want a stark naked bloke walking through or past their kids’ playground?

  3. Mike Orr April 9, 2022 / 6:08 am

    What’s it got to do with them or anyone else!? We all have the freedom, enshrined in UK law, to be naked anywhere.

    • Ciaran Goggins April 9, 2022 / 8:58 am

      Would you like him walking past your family’s funeral naked?

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